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Helen
13-05-2010, 08:17 PM
have been an emotional rollercoaster.

To start at the beginning. We've been wanting a 2nd miracle since Sept. last year. But had to wait 'till this year because I had Unstable Hips Syndrom (no idea what it's called in English but in dutch it's called Bekken Instabiliteit). You normally suffer from this in different degrees during pregnancy. I got it afterwards :( After a half a year revalidation and starting back at work in June/July. I had to wait and listen to my body.

In Jan. I felt ready. In Feb. we got pregnant, again first time round (like with Kate). Unfortunatly the day after the + test I got a major period. Oh well, we thought, it was sad but better, for it was probably not good.

In March I got pregnant again and stayed pregnant. My tummy grew much faster than it did with Kate along with the sudden very bad nausea and fatigue. The doc prescribed me meds so I could function :worship:

On april 27th we had our intake and 1st echo at the clinic. A few days before hand I had a strange feeling about not getting to see a heartbeat. But I could see no reason for this stressing out because with Kate I had lost blood twice and everything was ok, so why was I nervous now?

With my count I should of been 8weeks and 3 days along.
I climbed up and in went the doc dildo and we saw a nicely filled "nest" everything looked perfect except that we saw no heartbeat and no baby :nea: And I didn't feel it as a suprise and felt bad laying on the bed. But because they/we thought we could see something on the bottom we decided to make an appointment at the gyn's for a 2nd look. We had to wait 2 days.

So I broke down in the car and graduly picked myself up and we had 2 days to prepare ourselves for the worse. And indeed laying on the bed at the Gyn's we could see very clear that my nest was empty. Also we could see that my nest had continued to grow since that tuesday.

Because of my bad nausea and tiredness, and also my huge belly which was starting to draw attention and gossip I/we decided to use the pills to induce labour. I didn't want to wait 2 1/2 weeks for my body to reboot ><

That evening after pushing contractions and laying down I lost the nesting material. But consoled myself with the fact that the baby had been comsumed into my body. It would always be a part of me and it was good that it had stopped growing for the was a reason for it. I was just really mad at my body for being so STUBBORN as my soul :rolleyes:

I went to work the next day which wasn't always easy because of being dizzy and cramps and some people not being very supported as to workwise :nono-1-1:
On Monday I kept getting dizzy and pains the more I worked so I called the Gyn's and had to go home and come in the next day. Another echo was taken and some material had stayed behind. I was to insert the 2nd dose of pills. and come back in a weeks time.

Did this and came back. Another inner echo showed that there was still a little bit left, but because I was only losing little old blood and no cramps the discussed this and thought a curretage (scraping/suction of the uterus) was needed. I did have to draw blood to measure my hCG levels and had to wait 1 cycle adn come back in 6wks for another examination.

In the afternoon I got a call that my levels were too high. I had to come back on friday for another bloodtest and whatever came out of that is to what plan the would make. If it was still too high they thought of an ectopic pregnancy. Which was strange because the gyn and midwife both said that everything was in the right place ? And a scraping was needed. If I started losing fresh blood and/or heavy cramps I had to return before hand.

This morning I felt something run out of me twice and headed for the toilet and to my surprise it was fresh blood! So I got DH (we're having a week vacation to work on and around the house) called the hospital and my mum and dad. Dropped Kate over there and headed for the ER (the gyn was closed for it's a holiday today)
There I was brought to my own room and 4 vials of blood was drawn. My blood pressure was ok.
After 30 min an assistent arrived and said my hB was fine. And the echo showed the same as tuesday. But she didn't think a scraping was needed but we had to wait for the hCG results.
Another 30 min later she returned and was very pleased. My hCG had dropped friom 1100 something to 700 something which was almost halves.
I could go home and the appointment for tomorrow has been replaced to next wednesday for another hCG test and checkup.

For the first time we had some good news. Which is doing me good. Everyone has kept saying over and over how strong I am and that they didn't expect that and they thought I was brave etc etc. I'm suprised as well at myself. But it feels normale to me, to feel like I do.
Yes it hurts inside, my body failed me it seems. And what will round 3 bring? Trying again and then waiting... that will be like h*ll till the 1st echo.

But we won't give up and thanks to many support and loving over the digiscrap world and my friends and fam we pulled through! Also thanks to iNSD:giggle::yesssmileyf: and finally actually winning stuff :rainbowf:

This has become a looooooooooong thread so I'll put a full stop here .

Nzingha
13-05-2010, 09:08 PM
Oh my goodness that is a huge roller coaster.. you are strong and it is good you have so much support that will help you get through this. Big hugs to you.. I do hope all goes good for you medically and your body takes the time it needs to heal.. as well as emotional healing for that is a whole lot to go through.

Sokee
13-05-2010, 09:15 PM
I know how difficult this is as I have gone threw two miscarriages myself, one of them being at 12 weeks when they realized no baby had formed in me also. Sending hugs your way!

Helen
13-05-2010, 09:26 PM
thank you darlings!

@sokee 12 weeks is harder in my eyes.. you're much further along then! the bigger the dissapointment :( *hugs back*

Aagje
13-05-2010, 09:26 PM
This must have been a hard period for you! Keep the faith girl!!!

heathert
13-05-2010, 09:40 PM
Oh Helen, that is so hard... I had 2 ectopic pregnancies, and it's very scary! So I'm glad it wasn't an ectopic one for you, because every ectopic that you have increases the chances of having another (which was part of why we stopped trying to have children--with me over 40, and 2 ectopics, it was getting too risky). I'm glad you're finally getting some good news, and I hope that you enjoy your period of recuperation--but I also hope that the next one will be the good one! :consoling1: :smileyhug:

Yvon
13-05-2010, 09:45 PM
((hugs))

Helen
13-05-2010, 09:55 PM
@heathert indeed you stand more chances then and even losing one tube. Very scary indeed and very sad that you have been through this! A very big hug for you!! :bunnyhugff::grouphugg:

nativescrapper
13-05-2010, 10:45 PM
Im so sorry you have to go thru all this. <<<Hugs>>>
I will keep you in my prayers.

Romy
13-05-2010, 10:51 PM
Dear Helen, you are amazing and strong person to get through this!!!
I think your body needs to reset and take a break from all the pressure! :bathtubsmile:

I know it may sound weird but I've been hearing great things about how Tai Chi can help with fertility and pregnancy issues - though I never did it myself. Tai Chi is an ancient martial art where a series of slow and graceful movements are performed. The improved breathing and strengthened muscles supposedly have a great effect on a hormonal balance and relaxation. It can be performed during pregnancy too.

Feel free to not listen ( or read) to my babbling here!!:flower2: :-))))))

hugs and cheers!!!:flowers:

Helen
13-05-2010, 11:05 PM
@romy thanks for the tip! I don't know if the teach that around here? I'l ask around :flower2:

ty for the love here sweeties!! :toyou:

Alegna
14-05-2010, 12:00 AM
I'm so sorry for you sweetie, I hope everything will go alright from now on, big hug :grouphugg:

Renate
14-05-2010, 12:39 AM
Wow Helen, what a story. From me a big hug and a big kiss!!!!

Sterkte.

justjen
14-05-2010, 02:07 AM
Wow Helen, HUGE HUGS!!!!!!!!! You are so brave and such a strong woman! it indeed is very tough, I've had 9 misscarriages, a couple over three months, the one was the worst as I delivered it all still intact. Sickens me, I can still see that! And my Ethan had a twin, but I was not sad that time as I carried on to deliver a wonderfully healthy little boy. My heart goes out to you girl, and I have a huge lump in my throat, and I want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *HUGS* I'll keep you in my thoughts girl!

heathert
14-05-2010, 02:27 AM
Geeze Jen! =( You guys are persistent if you had all that, plus 8 full-term kidlets... My hat's already off, guess I have to rip off my hair now! *lol*

Helen
14-05-2010, 02:27 AM
:bunnyhugff::bunnyhugff: wow Jen that is huge and sad too :bunnyhugff:

Helen
14-05-2010, 02:27 AM
Geeze Jen! =( You guys are persistent if you had all that, plus 8 full-term kidlets... My hat's already off, guess I have to rip off my hair now! *lol*

:giggle:

justjen
14-05-2010, 03:33 AM
LOL, not persistant, everytime I had a misscarriage, I felt so sad and that is why I have so many. Because each is a precious gift. I do hate being preggers though.:flower2:

PhoebeJo
14-05-2010, 03:50 AM
Oh Helen...I'm so sorry! What a rough time for you! You are indeed a strong lady. Hugs and prayers to you, sweetie!! :26848:

justk
14-05-2010, 03:52 AM
Oh Helen that is so sad!!!! Big hugs to you.

MaggieMae
14-05-2010, 03:53 AM
So sorry, Helen. What a struggle you've had - hope rest and recuperation will help you and time will take care of everything!

sascedar
14-05-2010, 04:03 AM
sending you huge hugs helen. it sounds like you have a wonderful supportive family to help look after you while you recover. take your time to rest and rejuvinate. maybe even get away for a weekend if you can.

Che Yang
14-05-2010, 06:06 AM
Oh my! I am so sorry. You are such a brave and strong woman. I really hope everything will turn out the way you want. (((hugs)))

wombat146
14-05-2010, 06:32 AM
oh Helen that is tough!!! you sure have been on a roller coaster of emotions you poor thing!! you really do need to rest now and give your body a chance to get stronger! how wonderful that you already have a sweet little one! just hang in there, it will all happen in its own good time!! lots of hugs sweetie! xx

Gemma
14-05-2010, 11:08 AM
What an awful time you've had, I'm sending you the biggest ((((hugs)))) possible.

Helen
14-05-2010, 02:34 PM
:grouphugg:

DoggiNo
14-05-2010, 02:35 PM
I don't know what to say. It's just so sad, all the pain and suffering that can go with something as beautiful as having a baby.
It's just doesn't seem fair : people that really want to havs a baby have to go through hell and others that don't want one (and sometimes are better off not having kids) get pregnant by just looking at each other (matter of speaking of course).
Take care and stay strong. You're in our thoughts. :grouphugg:

jewelscraps
14-05-2010, 04:14 PM
I'm so sorry for all you've gone through, definitely a rollercoaster! I'll be thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed! *hugs*

sunnie2004
14-05-2010, 05:07 PM
I am so sorry you are going thru all this. I wish I knew what to say except know we and me will be tinking about you and hoping all is well!!

mum2gnt
14-05-2010, 05:19 PM
Oh Helen............hun ..........not sure what to say here. I read your scrapbook page re this and when you said about being in the ER I wondered if it was this. You do have a lot of support it seems which is what you need. I hope you have your little miracle soon enough - but your body must recover. You are a wonderful person hun. be strong. We are all here for you - if that helps at all. BIG BIG HUGS xoxoxoxox

Soco
14-05-2010, 08:13 PM
OMG Helen! Now I understand what I saw yesterday at Twitter! Yes girl, you're being very brave... I know what I'm talking about 'cause I already lived that and I know how much one should be brave for living all that!!! I'm sending you my hugs, my prayers and my best wishes!!!

Helen
14-05-2010, 08:21 PM
:lovayas:
ty for all the sweet words!
I'm starting to feel a little like myself again due to the good news yesterday, hCG dropping.
It feels good :flower2:

PhoebeJo
15-05-2010, 06:11 AM
Thank goodness for positive news!! Yay, Helen!!!

mom2peanuts
15-05-2010, 08:00 AM
Praying for you Helen. Hoping your HCG levels go down to normal soon.

maaike
15-05-2010, 04:15 PM
:grouphugg:Ohh sweetie big big hug from me!!!

rsk
15-05-2010, 05:11 PM
I'm so sorry that you had to go through all this, (((hugs)))